December 2016 Newsletter
- Dec 5, 2016
- 4 min read
The Heartache and Magic of the Holiday Season
Cool Family Solutions has been collecting stories to share with our clients and network of colleagues. We have been listening to those we provide services to and the common theme that we keep hearing is that families thrive when they have a peer story that they can relate too. We have been working with our team to gather the stories that will matter to you, inspire you, and give you hope that you and your family can also overcome the challenges of Mental Health & Addictions.
“This young family was hit hard as dad was laid off from his job, his company bankrupt closing down shop in Canada.”
This month we are meeting a family who experienced tragedy and dysfunction so close to the holiday season. The story begins somewhat similar to what we are experiencing today. In the last economic downturn that devastated our province this family was struggling to make ends meet. Mom had two young children and worked part time. Dad was the main income earner and was thriving in his career. He truly felt that he had finally found the company that he could spend his years with and retire feeling accomplished and satisfied.
Merry Christmas from all of us at Cool Family Solutions
The family was preparing for the arrival of their unborn child. Mom was nesting, Grandma was crocheting baby blankets and sweaters, and dad was setting up the nursery. Everything seemed to be going perfect in this ordinary family story. Then our economy took a downward spiral. This young family was hit hard as dad was laid off from his job, his company bankrupt closing down shop in Canada. It was devastating, little to no severance and hundreds of employees looking for the same type of work in an economy that was sluggish. The family quickly went through the little money that dad had for severance and finances become very difficult. The family started to breakdown, the stresses of finances, a new baby on the way, and mom only working part time took its toll
on the marriage and the entire family unit. The little joy they could celebrate each day was their children and the arrival of their new baby.
“Tragedy struck when mom gave birth to a stillborn baby girl.”
The trauma of this event sent the family into a spiral that mom wasn’t sure they could recover from. As they planned their baby girls funeral extended family was toxic as judgement and blame were often at the center of the sadness. At the time this increased the heartache and despair these young parents felt. It was a couple weeks till Christmas and the trauma mom and dad experienced left them raw and withdrawn. Dad fell into a deep depression leaving mom to pick up the pieces and try to move on each day.
Mom can recall that one of the only things that helped her get through this was to talk it out with her friends and co-workers. They helped her to cope through her grief, the struggle of her husband’s mental health, and the raising of her other children. This is when the magic of the holiday season took this family from total devastation to joy.
The family’s local church rallied around this young family. People bought their used baby items, and furniture for extraordinary amounts of money, enough to pay their mortgage for two months. This brought some financial relief to the family as they were surrounded by the love of their faith community.
Mom’s co-workers were the ultimate surprise. One evening they came to the house and surprised mom and dad with an adult evening out. They had it all planned, the babysitting, the reservations, and the friendship to encourage this young family to leave their sorrows for one night. The parents went out thinking they were celebrating with friends. At home the co-worker elves were surely busy. They cleaned the entire house, set up the Christmas tree, filled the fridge with a Christmas feast, and surrounded the tree with presents. Then they arranged for the local charity “The Magic of Christmas” to have Santa arrive on a Calgary Transit bus and surprise the entire family with presents, and joy.
Reflecting back now these parents can see that the entire extended family was reeling from the devastating news, and although inappropriately reacting with judgement and blame it was how everyone was grieving. The family can recall being in survival mode with all joy removed from their lives. Although the family unit broke down, the family’s support network was there. Teaching the family that talking through your life’s challenges is what helped them overcome the devastating effects of mental illness.
When they shared their story with the CFS team the impact of what this family went through was a true inspiration to our team. It reaffirmed to us that having those “real conversations” and talking through your thoughts, feelings, and fears is what will truly make the difference in your families overall health. We are proud to say that our programming is uniquely tailored to the needs of each family’s individual circumstances.
Mental Health
Signs and symptoms of poor mental health and mental illness are varied and can include:
• Loss of motivation and energy
• Changes to your sleep (you may start sleeping more or you may start sleeping less)
Mona Cooley developed programs to help families navigate mental illness
• Extreme mood swings
• Disturbances in thoughts or perceptions
• Overwhelming obsessions or fears.
Mental Health Tips:
Connect with others
Do what YOU enjoy
Share your interests & hobbies
Do a random act of kindness
Challenge yourself with personal goals
For more details on our programs click here
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